Dear Katherine
The days are cold and the nights, colder yet. Upon stepping into the white world outside of my apartment, winter’s cruel fingers grasp my face turning it pink and the hairs of my nostrils become icy strands. it is dark and lonely, a feeling i know all too well. the clerks at the market, they do not ask how my day was, or for what purpose these foodstuffs may hold. the teen folk of town eye my every step as if foreign to their own; perhaps they are right. cold, truly. a cold, cold place it is. But it’s not so bad, you get accustomed and even grow to appreciate the anonymity. They talk about me at the pub, ask Robert about me. i can make out enough words to know that. The drunks always say hi to me and smile; they like my lipstick colors. Most are kind. One disgusting excuse for a man however said the other night “where did you find this one? i would pay you for her.” It was unsettling but there are creeps everywhere i suppose. it was just that i hadnt known what he was saying and so i was smiling real nice and big for him, and then after he went away and robert told me what he said i felt sticky. Anyhow, I sit whilst he works and observe these stinky inebriated creatures. Each has a distinct preference of drink, never straying. one likes to sip his beer from the wide-mouthed glass with the bear on it; another must have his coffee with one shot of peach liquor every morning. The latter, it is rumored, only eats on the weekends. One fat old man reeks so bad he ruins any area he stumbles upon. I try not to make eye contact with him. Almost all the patrons of the Mesku sit together around a circular table and chat and laugh, sing and fight. There is, indeed, a sense of community amongst the drunks. They love their karaoke almost as much as I myself do. I sure do miss going to the bars with you. Often I Day Dream of sitting with you and our friends in one of the red pleather booths at the Alibi, drinking a bloody mary mainly for the bacon strip, and going out for smoke breaks.
I am happy here, I hope you are happy there, I only wish we could be together happy somewhere! How are things? The casino, is it a drag? Have you become used to the outfit, the guests? I hope this mysterious Lee and his teenager daughter are keeping you good company. Have you moved in with that Jeff fellow yet? I am currently sitting by the open window, my foot on the heater to keep warm, smoking my marlboro Reds and digesting the grotesque food i have consumed today; Cold pizza for breakfast, cold pizza for lunch, cheeseburger with too much mayo for dinner. Not a single vegetable, not a one. I haven’t been eating terribly lately, just today. It’s okay. Oh and i am wearing an ugly hat and a pirate skull bandaid on my forehead where i popped a pimple. It’s all very attractive. I love and miss you, miss and love you, please write back soon!
yours truly,
Gay